Grieving Prince Eric: Reflecting on a Year of Heartbreak & Truth

Jonah Hauer-King as Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid (2023). Photo by Disney.

October 11th, 2023

I’ve always been someone who can’t seem to let go of dates. I effortlessly commit them to memory, only for most of them to wound me the next time they come around.

In early December of 2022, I was preparing my 2023 To Write Love on Her Arms calendar for the year ahead. The pit in my stomach told me that October 11th was going to hurt when it came back around, even though the worst had not occurred to me yet. I stuck a provided sticker with the words “People Need Other People” on it as a reminder not to spend the day alone - whether things worked out between my “prince” and me or not.

We deserve love and to feel secure in our relationships with others. This is a lesson that the universe continued to reinforce over the next year.

As this date approached, I asked myself what I should do. The events of the past year have left me without closure and very little release. I’ve never been one to shy away from putting my stories into the world as a form of catharsis. To create my own closure by ending the chapter and closing the book. To make sure my words are kept in a place where I have complete control over them. To allow my truth to live freely. So this is what I’ve decided to do. This is what I must do.

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October 11th, 2022

This was the date that I first met Eric* face-to-face. We matched on Hinge at the end of September. I HATED online dating, but something about this connection felt different. Almost like the universe had meant for us to match. He was cute and charming and piqued my interest. He seemed intelligent and thoughtful, and he won me over with his psychology major and his experience performing his art in the city and around the world. October 11th could not come soon enough.

On our first date, we began the evening by visiting a “barcade”, where we played games of pinball and Street Fighter. He joked about my competitiveness and I began to open up about my family life. However, it was when we moved on to the 2-player Tetris and we bonded over our shared experience with ADHD that I really started to enjoy myself.

The date moved to a nearby ramen spot, where we continued to chat about our hobbies and lives while I awkwardly tried to eat my ramen. I felt very comfortable with Eric and was enjoying my time with him. When he suggested he grab dessert, I was relieved to not be leaving him so soon.

We soon discovered a cinnamon bun shop nearby (Eric thought it was cute how excited I was). I had a cinnamon bun while he had cookie dough. We sat outside on a bench and continued to talk. Once I’d finished my cinnamon bun, he wrapped his arm around me. My stomach filled with butterflies, and I reflected on how safe I felt with him. I was in disbelief to be where I was with someone who had taken an interest in me. I hadn’t felt this happy in over a decade.

Then he kissed the top of my head. I was confused, unsure why he would do something that affectionate so soon. I questioned if it had really happened until…

He grabbed my chin, lifting my lips to his, and he kissed me. It felt like a moment out of a movie, or a book, or a dream.

After sitting with each other for a long time, we got up to leave and hugged each other - neither one of us wanting to let go of the other. He offered to walk home. We traveled across the city under streetlights and the night sky, stopping for a kiss at every stoplight. I felt sparks like I never had before.

We’d been walking for about an hour when we arrived at my building. I sent him off with one last kiss, believing that this would be the start of the ultimate fairytale.

November 6th, 2022

I had to wait nearly a month for Eric and I to meet up again, but when the day came I was beyond excited. We planned an afternoon at the museum followed by dinner, where we continued to enjoy spending time with one another.

As before, he walked me home. Only this time, I invited him in. I planned for nothing to happen and never could’ve imagined things would play out as they did.

That was the night I lost a part of myself I’d been saving for the right time.

November to December 2022

Our next few dates are all a blur. Time spent eating ice cream, and walking at night, and trying new restaurants, and cuddling on the couch, and moments of intimacy, and slow dancing in the living room, and being vulnerable with each other.

There were moments of anxiety as I waited for text messages and wondered where he was or if we’d be something more. But the moments when we were together made me believe it was all for nothing.

One evening, we had a shared moment where we reflected on how tired we were of always feeling like bad things happened to us, and us having this continued need to be resilient. He confided in me about the enemies he’d made and the lies they’d told about him. He told me how they’d had a big impact on his life, and I could see him trying to suppress his emotions.

I told him I believed him, and he embraced me with a kiss.

December 7th, 2022

The night he turned cold.

Something felt wrong, but he made me feel it was in my head. Alone in my room, he finally told the truth. The lies had gotten worse and he was now seeking legal advice. The rest of the night his focus was on himself.

We left so he could grab food. This time when he walked me home, he dropped my hand.

I kissed him goodbye and asked him to stay in touch while I was out of town. That was the last time I ever saw him face-to-face.

December 15th, 2022

He texted me apologizing for not being in touch, blaming it on his mental health over his legal situation.

I forgave him.

December 23rd, 2022

I discovered that he had taken a girl on a date to see the new Avatar movie. I was devastated but reminded myself we weren’t exclusive.

I tried to forget that he was too down to talk to me, but not down enough to date someone else.

I wasn't sure if I could forgive him.

December 30th, 2022

I reached out to make plans now that I was returning to town. He used this as the opportunity to break things off with me.

“I enjoy spending time with you, but all this weirdness going on in my personal life has me off about dating at the moment.”

Through my tears, I told him I understood. I was sad but would like to stay friends, and I suggested that when he was feeling better we might resume dating.

“Absolutely - and happy to stay in touch. I am just in a very weird headspace seeing as I am currently sitting with the ‘finger on the trigger’ on launching a lawsuit on one of my exes for defamation.

“You’re very sweet and I do like you but…yeah, a lot going on.”

You’d never mentioned an ex-girlfriend being behind all this before.

January 2023

I began the New Year severely depressed. I was barely able to work during the day, and nothing I tried to do brought me joy.

The only thing that brightened my days was the few text messages we exchanged.

To heal myself, I began inner child healing by watching Bear in the Big Blue House and focusing a lot of my attention on my job search.

February 16th, 2023

The day after my cat died during my second day at the new job.

I sent him a text wishing him a happy birthday.

“Thank you, Caryn.”

I asked him if he’d meant to spell my name wrong. He thought that was how it was spelled.

I insisted it was fine, not wanting him to be embarrassed on his birthday. I never told him that I went home after work that day and cried.

March 19th, 2023

“Hey! How’s it going?”

He didn’t respond.

March 25th, 2023

“Sorry if this is weird/random, but I hope you’re doing okay.”

“I’m doing alright, thank you,” he said. “I hope so for you too.”

“Thank you.”

This was the last time I heard from him.

June 11th, 2023

My grandma and I saw The Little Mermaid. Seeing Jonah Hauer-King on the screen as Prince Eric devastated me. With his curly, dark hair and romantic gestures, I could only think about how much he resembled the Eric that I’d once hoped and prayed was my prince come to rescue me.

About how I didn’t get my happy ending with my Prince Eric.

July 7th, 2023

The Internet can be a complex place.

One day, you’re meeting someone on a dating app who might just be the one. Flash forward several months, he is speaking out against one of his enemies he'd told you about - only to have multiple people attack him for his own past actions.

“Bro, you were the other one kicked out for assaulting women. YOU.”

“This is rich, coming from the guy that got kicked out for ALSO doing similar things. Doesn’t negate what you did. Just remember that. Here to always remind you that you also f*cked my friends over.”

My heart sank. The tears wouldn’t stop for days.

I had thought this man was a prince. Could he really be the villain others make him out to be?

July 15th, 2023

I could feel that I was starting to let go.

I opened the hideous “Beast” known as Hinge and matched with someone new.

July 21st, 2023

This is how a healthy relationship is supposed to begin…

August 1st, 2023

“Can I ask you something in a DM?”

An unexpected reply connected me with someone I didn't know I needed to talk to. Someone whose side of the story I was never offered.

She was not an ex-girlfriend but in reality an ex-friend. Someone who had trusted him, only for him to take advantage of her. Someone who stood up for herself, only to be violated in the dark.

She was scared and upset over the battle they were now fighting, telling me she cried when she saw a comment I’d made online. Although he’d never victimized me, my experience gave her hope that maybe she could find others to help her make her case.

Here she was: the proof I needed to fully let go. The proof that Prince Eric was actually the villain in this story - a cold-hearted monster. He would gladly allow women to lose their voices for his own benefit.

I left the lunchroom and cried in the bathroom, but only for a little while. I looked at my phone at the new text message I’d received.

“Can’t wait to see you tonight!”

I now had the truth. I now knew that I was manipulated and deceived by someone who thought only of themselves. Someone who couldn’t see themselves as anything other than the hero of the story. Someone incapable of admitting to their wrongdoings. Someone unwilling to admit to the fact that he’d hurt others.

So who was I? I was someone who nearly fell in love with the villain. Someone who nearly gave their voice away to the wrong side. Someone who did NOT deserve everything she’d been through over the past year.

Someone who deserved love in its purest form.

I returned to my desk and happily awaited my date that evening.

October 14th, 2023

The Solar Eclipse. A day of letting go.

I wish my story of the past year can be told differently. That I didn’t give as much time and attention to the villain of this story. That he didn’t have my heart and my sympathy for as long as he did. But I know things happen for a reason. There’s a saying that bad things happen to us so we can better appreciate the good.

This experience helped solidify what I want in a partner and what I deserve in my relationships. I always thought of myself as an Ariel searching for her Prince Eric, but their story just doesn’t fit my narrative.

The truth is… I’m more of a Belle. And after embarking on an adventure to discover where I’m truly meant to be, I’ve found my Prince Adam. Though that’s a story worthy of its own chapter.

If you’ve read this far, I’ll leave you with this: it’s okay if a short-lived romance leaves you broken. Remember to give yourself time to heal, never ignore the truth when it presents itself to you, and know that you deserve to be treated like the main character that you are.

*Name has NOT been changed. Time to face the consequences of your actions.

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